Well this week has been interesting. Mother and I walked alot and we had a great diet week. I lost 11.2 lbs. I was so happy. Mother lost 1.2lbs which is great because she thought she might gain this week. I'm so excited that she didn't, I know she gets depressed when she does gain. We walked alot this week and plan on picking that up on a more frequent basis. It feels so good to get out of the house and walking is so good for me. I feel stronger.
I went to the doctor yesterday. I was so scared and had an anxiety attack while I was there and when I got home. I was shaking and couldn't calm down. I got into WoW for a bit and eventually I was able to calm down. Scylya helped me alot. He has a calming effect on me.
Well according to the doctor I am having heart palpitations due to anxiety and asthma. Go figure. Life should be good for me right now, Im home where I wanted to be but things are on the rocky side between me and Dh so Im not sure how things are gunna end up, and I think that is what is causing my anxiety. She put me on a medication to calm my heart, and I hope it works, she says we can up the dose if it doesn't work and then we will go from there.
I have to go back to her in 10 days to see if things are better and if they are then I can go to my brothers on the 19th. I so want to go, but I may have to say and get things settled here. I guess we will just have to see.
Scylya has been sending me all kinds of music and I'm so addicted to all of it. I love music, and this has been so fun for me, I just get lost in the music. He is a musician, and I love listening to him play, he was playing over vent for Killamo and I last night, it was awesome. Everytime he sends me a new video I like the song so much I go down load it, my library has really jumped. Though it is fair because I have been sending him alot of the music I like and we have been going back and forth. Its fun.
Man these pills make me tired, Im so sleepy right now. I just want to crash but I don't want to, Im torn. I hate things that make me sleepy, I have nightmares and can't seem to wake up when Im on meds that make me tired. Sleeping meds are worse though, because they are meant to keep you asleep for a time and I need to be able to wake up. Its not always a good thing, sleeping meds.
I feel like Im lost and cant find my way home. I feel as if Im drifting threw space trying to get my feet back on the ground. I don't know any other way to describe it really. Somethings in this world tend to shock and surprise us all, and its hard when they blind side you. I feel like I may never find my way back to earth again.
I started drawing again and will get some pics up here next post as Im working on getting up an art site. I really like the way they are coming out though. Im having fun burring myself in a medium that I find interesting and see what comes out of it. I guess we will have to see.
Tracey
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